Oh really now, it's not all that bad! Get over yourself! Sheesh!
I have these huge, massive plans. RESOURCE ALLOCATION. Big, big problem.
I have a milestone birthday coming up next year in March. I've always wanted to be one of those people who did it up right on milestone birthdays. Alas, not since "Annafest '90" have I really done it up right, and that was just a slumber party with a grandiose name. So I've decided, I'm going to Iceland. I've always wanted to go. I'm going. I have to be in better physical shape, undoubtedly. Also there's a matter of about $2000 I would need to come up with at minimum just to take myself. I'm planning. I want to skulk around (oh give me a break, I have no idea what the right verb is) in the Blue Lagoon. I want to have ridiculous spa treatments performed on me. I want to dogsled and not herniate the poor dogs. I want to see the northern lights but I have no idea if that's the right time of year or not. I want to take jeep tours of glaciers and geysers. I want to go out in what's supposed to be the secret party hotspot of Europe. I'm going to do it. I hope I'll have company, but if not I'll just go.
Another big project that will require an actual investment... I want to landscape the backyard. Don't get me wrong; I love my hippy flower garden back there that is the result of utter neglect. I love the combination of plastic and metal and dog crap and the grill. But it's time for a change. I want a house that looks like it's managed by grown-ups, and I want a garden to match. God, I wish I had skills in carpentry and / or metalworking. Anyway, the plan is to build a zen garden, but not a japanese zen garden. A Georgian zen garden. Instead of cherry trees I want dogwoods, instead of koi I want catfish, instead of bonsai I want giant fucking southern pines, etc. But I am planting bamboo for privacy and because it does really well here. Same concept with the pebble paths and everything, but extending the idea of "being at one with nature" to include things that are - uh - natural. For here. For my red clay world.
Also on the list is the interior redux. We're gradually getting organized, but WHAT an undertaking. It's starting to look like some grown-ups live here somewhere, but what I'm left with doesn't really look very pretty. Sure I'm utilizing vertical space, but at what cost? I'd rather just have less stuff and more room. Ironically, that costs money. And on top of that, I'm literally afraid of the office now. The upstairs office. It used to be my little stinky sanctuary, but then Kevs started shoving things in there. Endlessly. I haven't spent any time in there in probably over 2 years. GROTY. Even Delia doesn't go in there any more, and that's where her litter box is. I once dreamt it would be my little guest room / office / reading nook / play with my one baby area. It has never been clean. I don't know how to get it clean. I'm going up there tomorrow. Wish me luck, I have a feeling it's going to suck like I could never have imagined... Anyway, that whole project already has lots of costs associated with it.
Where am I going to get all the money for all this?
Plus add in the fact that I'm an impulse shopper and then, well, we're doomed. It's a tight budget over here. I did what I promised, I kept my 2011 vow, and Kevs and I did thorough financial planning today, as thorough as we possibly are capable of doing, and we're fine, but man. It's tight.
So much to think about...
Ate too much chocolate, didn't exercise, did clean and write, did not smoke, and did check the bankbook as well as several billion other accounts. Day 15 of this year was better than day 14.
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