Current mood:optimisticLet's hearken back to a simpler time, shall we?
A time of innocence and freedom, in which I used to aspire to simple things. About a year ago I blogged some New Year's resolutions and I'm here to say that despite 2007 being the biggest clusterfuck of a year I could ever possibly hope for, I really did give it a half-assed try. Let's see how well she did, ok? In case there were one or two things that you haven't JUDGED ME on yet...
1. Combine my many, many IRA's. - Yes! I did this! And so much more! I got a financial panther, she set up a rollover account for me, and now I am just waiting to get the last 2 checks to put into it! Yes!
2. Fix the tax situation. - Holy shit! I did this one too! I'm even doing some tax planning for this year and the coming one!
3. Boost the boy out of the 25th% for motor skills. Hopefully upwards. - Score! Yes! He was at the 55th% when we last checked in the summer! He has another check-up the end of January, but I have no doubt he will rock it.
4. Get all of the animals to the vet at least once. - Oh, no, didn't do this one. Only got Astrid to the vet and she wiped me out. Everyone else is perfectly healthy. Need to get the Chi in there next, but I don't know how much final arrangements for Astrid will be (Oh but btw, fuck yes she is still kicking it for the moment!). So, I only got 25% of that one.
5. Eat more lasagne. - Check and double check.
6. Get a better job. - Oh my Sweet Jesus Yes! I am so good at this. Changed jobs in September. While gestating even.
7. Put vegetables in everything. - Mmmm, no. Didn't even make much of an effort at it. I have been a little better about it since growing a fetus, but I barely deserve any credit for that. Maybe another 25% here.
8. Get back on the rocks. - Not at all. Not even once.
9. Stay moist. - Yep, I am drowning in Geyser Springs over here.
10. No more IM. You don't have to know what it stands for. - Kept that resolution, completely. Never again.
So, all this adds up to a 75%. Not too shabby. A very half-assed accomplishment on my part if I do say so myself!
So what shall we aspire to in the '08?
There is one and only one thing, and it is this:
Oh fucking hell, I know, I know, I KNOW!!! But the other day I know Thor was trying to say the S word, and it is just so goddam trashy. I went to Harvard for fuck's sake and these are the best words I can come up with? And what if it's true that God gets pissed when you use the GD word, huh? That's the last kinda bullshit I need. Shit.
So, I have a year. I would love tips from anyone who has attempted this before. My first piece of strategery is to start using words that are hilarious substitutions much more often. Words like:
* TS, BS, and PO'd (but only with extreme anger)
* for cripe's sake
* shoot (with extreme southern accent)
* good gravy
And many others. You tell me. Which ones do you love most? Yeah, this will work.
(I am so. Fucking. Fucked.)