Saturday, December 29, 2007

Happy 2008 Liner Notes

Printing and cutting liner notes and cramming them into CD cases is a bitch. This year they are available electronically only. If this upsets you, you can either buy me a cutcraft from that neverending as seen on tv commercial, or you can print and cut this blog out yourself.
1. "Straight Heat" by EdIT, from Certified Air Raid Material.
2. "Casting Agents and Cowgirls" by Busdriver, from Roadkill Overcoat. In case you never visited my myspace page in the 8 months I had it posted as my song. Sorry, busy.
3. "You Are a Runner and I am My Father's Son" by Wolf Parade, from Apologies to the Queen Mary.
4. "Imitosis" by Andrew Bird, from Armchair Apocrypha. When I heard the chick on Album 88 pronounce it "appo-grippa" I realized how little my accomplishments at Georgia State mean.
5. "Party Fears Two" by Divine Comedy, from Victory for the Comic Muse. This is the gayest song I have ever heard. It is so gay I can't even imagine gay people listening to it unless they were perhaps in a circus being exploited somehow. So I really didn't have a choice but to share it.
6. "Silently" by Blonde Readhead, from 23. This song makes me think of the new baby. "Quietly... I drop my weight int your sea, I drop my anchor. I sway in your waves. I sing in your sleep. I stay til I'm in your life."
7. "Common People" by Pulp, from Different Class. An oldie, but it re-caught my attention earlier this year and I thought it was worth sharing.
8. "Caroline Visar Vagen" by Dungen, from Tio Bitar. YAY! New Dungen!
9. "The Funeral" by Band of Horses, from Everything all the Time. It was hard for me to put this song on the CD because it feels like someone is punching me in the heart when I hear it, but it's just too good for me to leave off.
10. "She Do" by Pimps of Joytime, from High Steppin'. This sounds like it could have been the authentic predecessor of G Love and Special Sauce if it had not come like 15 years later. I enjoy the lo-fi sound anyway.
11. "Spring Hall Convert" by Deerhunter, from Cryptograms. Good for you, local band.
12. "Restorative Beer" by the Fiery Furnaces, from Widow City. I hated this band in concert, but this is a concept that hit home with me. Plus I hear that they are very up and coming. They're all over the media for some reason. Perhaps the hipsters could verify for me.
13. "Ruby" by Kaiser Chiefs, from Yours Truly, Angry Mob. I heard this song for the first time this morning. Bam. I enjoyed that the hook is almost a direct rip-off of "All That She Wants is Another Baby" by Ace of Bass.
14. "Brown Skin" by India Arie, from Acoustic Soul. This song cracks me up to no end. I know it is supposed to be this super sultry thing, but I sing it to Thor all the time. Come on.
15. "Anasthesia - Pulling Teeth" by Metallica, from Kill 'Em All. I HATE Metallica, but this is only their dead bassist, so it's ok. This is one bass. Take one. I have loved this forever, finally decided to share.
Hope you enjoy, Happy New Year y'all!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

sunshine and lollipops

Current mood:sick
I have pneumonia.
I have to put my dog down in the next week or so.
When will this stupid fucking year be over? SHIT.
Anyway, I need all the world to know this: If you are ever really, really sick and you feel like dying, you can't breathe, you can't sleep, your head is pounding, your eyes are burning and popping out of your head... when you have reached the point of utter desperation... just before you roll over and give up...
Eat a whole clove of garlic, raw. No salt, no oil, no cooking it, no bread. Don't make a shooter out of it, even with just water, it won't work. You have to peel it, and then bite off chunks at a time, chew them up, suck the juice out, and swallow it. All of it.
It will put hair on your chest and it will make you stink like all hell for a day or so, it even made me throw up, but it will relieve your symptoms. Believe me. I HAVE PNEUMONIA and it worked when Robitussin with codeine could not. Plus it's safe for preggo's, kids, the elderly, etc.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Why I am changing my name to Anna Hausenpfeffer

Current mood:pugnacious
Hell yes. Hell yes.
Yeah it's probably a bad sign when Germany starts restricting religious freedom, but in this case, they are dead on when they say
Check out my favorite bash-those-stupid-fuckers web site:
Now, I'm off to Fargo to see which of my idealistic leftist principles will be destroyed next. Back in a week, be good!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

As if things weren't scary enough...

Current mood:calm
Time for the fall picture flood.
Here's Thor rocking out to Spoon at the Echo Music Project. I really don't know how he was born knowing the exact appropriate way to act in every live music situation, it's a little creepy...
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This is where I was pretending to be one of those awesome Moms who takes her toddler up into the mountains to a pumpkin patch. Any guesses on where it was really taken?
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Yeah, he only has the one shirt.
Then we carved pumpkins and he whined the whole time so I made his a whiny face.
So the big day came and I dressed Thor up like a burglar.
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But the stocking was too tight, so I took it off and he was a beat poet the rest of the night.

Also Suzie was staying with us that night and her Mom put her in costume as well.
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Suzie's costume is far superior to Thor's and is a direct reflection of quality of parenting.
In other news, Connie is coming along nicely, but as it turns out CONNIE IS A BOY! But I have yet to come up with a new fetal nickname for him that has really stuck. Suggestions? The nicks I have used so far are Genghis, Hercules, Conrad, and Fiasco, but none of them have stuck.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI love that image bc it's all shady and of poor quality, like it was taken in some scene out of The Deer Hunter or something. Anyway, love y'all, keep in touch...

Sunday, October 14, 2007

the world's most hostile environments

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Some desert in China Image Hosted by
An ocean storm Image Hosted by
And then there's this place Image Hosted by

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Patsy's zinger of the day 2

Current mood:enraged
Me: God, this just sucks. I never wanted to have a white baby.
Pats: Yeah, me neither.
OK so yeah, if you don't know, Patsy is my Mom who has 4 white kids and this totally cracked me up. Also if you didn't know, I have a baby coming in April. Break out the fucking sparklers and Blue Nun.

Monday, July 2, 2007

my dog is not my car

Current mood:peaceful
My car has 93,000 miles on it. It's six years old. It's starting to
fall apart. The a/c is broken. The windshield and left tail light is
cracked. It's not turning over right away. It needs a tune-up, a timing belt, an
oil change, an air filter, new tires, and probably ten other things. It
stinks of cigarettes and baby spew and sounds like the Spanish Armada
when I am negotiating a turn. I'm going to have to sink a thousand
dollars into it, at least, when it's worth maybe 2500 at best. At best.

But the fact of the matter is that the best move I can make is to fix
the car. I have 3 payments left, and if I make these repairs it will
probably make it another year or so. I have a baby, a house, and a job,
so I have to have wheels. I would love to live in a bikeable / walkable
city, but that's another story altogether. Over the next two years I
can keep putting "car payment" money away and try to get a better deal on
the next car. Or maybe the next time an emergency comes up, I'll have
a few bucks stashed away in the car account that I can nip. It will be
nice. It's a sound plan.

Astrid has cancer. Astrid is my nine-year old Doberman. Astrid is
beautiful and elegant. Astrid is strong. Astrid has scared away
criminals, Christians, and children alike with equal skill and
ferocity. Astrid will be dead by the end of the year, maybe the end of the month.

Astrid has been my best friend for nine years. She has been by my side
during hard times and radical changes. She was my baby for many years
when I believed there would never be a human baby in my life. My son
was born on her eighth birthday. She has never commented once on my weight
or cigarette habit, and she is happy to cuddle up with me no matter how
badly I need a shower or a shave.

Astrid has cancer and there's nothing I can do about it. I could
possibly do something about it if I had money. I can't even afford very
complete diagnostics, so it's hard to say if anything can be done to
extend her life while maintaining its quality. I wouldn't put her
through anything crazy like chemo or radiation, but there are lots of
options available in veterinary medicine to fight cancer, even more
than in human medicine. But I don't know if there is anything I can do
because I can't even afford the blood tests and x-rays to provide the
answers, much less treatment.

These diagnostics would cost about four hundred dollars. Surgery to
remove a couple of suspect lumps would be about six hundred.

A thousand dollars.

My car and my dog both require a thousand dollars to potentially extend
their lives a few months. The risk of total loss on the investment
toward either is 100 percent at any time.

How do I live in a world where putting a thousand dollars into pile of
pollution-spouting metal is a good idea but spending more than a few
dollars on my best friend and one of God's most precious creatures is a stupid one? What kind of life is this in which my car is a necessity but a giant
chunk of my heart is a luxury?

My car is replaceable. My dog is not.

My car is worth maybe 2500 dollars.

My dog is priceless...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


Current mood:busy
The rules are: once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with ten weird, random things, facts or habits about yourself. At the end you choose ten people to be tagged, list their names, and why you chose them. Don't forget to leave them a comment that says, "you are tagged" on their profile and tell them to read your latest blog! And no tag backs!
1- I can whistle as well breathing in as breathing out.
2-I say the word "Ow" all the time even if it is not an accurate descriptor of what I am feeling. Sometimes I say ow when I itch. But in all fairness I do get a lot of weird random pain for no apparent reason.
3-I have no idea what the deal is with solid food. Can someone please tell me? Please? He seems to be able to eat whatever I give him but I feel like I'm still supposed to be making him baby food and it would be weird to just make him a little dish of the shrimp fra diavolo I made for dinner tonight. Do I put it in a blender? What?
4-I did a report on the Holocaust when I was ten years old and the strange fascination has never really abated. I took a class on genocide in college. I am constantly vigilant around trains. I visited a concentration camp on my first visit to Europe. It was later turned into a Stalinist work camp. Neat.
5- So. Fucking. Scared. Of. Heights.
6-I am still trying to figure out the technicalities of cremation and Catholicism, i.e. can you drag your charred ass across the pearly gates or no? But, if no, I decided a long time ago that I want to be buried in the position I sleep most comfortably in. I sleep on my side with my knees pulled up and clutching a pillow between my arms. Younger siblings, Thor: make it happen.
7- When I was little I used to think things like, "When I am President..." and "When I become a movie star..." and I still consciously have those thoughts. Man, it's never too late.
8- "Little House on the Prarie" is one of my top five favorite shows of all times and I have the first 2 seasons on DVD. I would have them all if I had some money. I could do a lot of things if I had some money.
9- I don't actually like children. I'm learning to cope because I love Thor Thorsson so much, and of course none of what I'm saying here applies to him, but no, children are not my cup of tea. At all. But I think I'm getting better at it. Maybe some day I will teach a class on Child Appreciation, like they have Art Appreciation for people who don't get it. "Learn how I manage to smile, clap, sing, and not beat anyone when trapped with disobedient little urchins I am supposed to for some reason agree are cute with their shrill voices and underdeveloped senses of humor and taste. You can too!"
10- Wanna hear me play some Maiden on my bass? For your sake you should decline but I can do it.
The 10 people I chose to tag are:

1. Liza - I know how you love to discuss yourself.

2. Margaret -- Consider it payback for all the junk you do to me via email. Also I just recently discovered what a funny and interesting adult you have become.

3. Dawg -- Sorry, has to be done, you haven't blogged in a century.

4. Rob - You do this every day or so, why not do ten at once?

5. Block - I love your blogs, they are so funny. I challenge you to the above plus make each of the ten items something you are angry about.

6. Spencer -- Everything you say is pure gold. And you never blog.

7. Blayne -- I haven't heard from you in forever! Come on, man.

8. Freddy -- I want to see if you are still evolving into a sassy black woman.

9. SB -- You know why.

10. John Hill -- I don't think you complied with Christine's initial tag, so get busy. I also challenge you to include Suzie in each of your ten things.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007


Current mood:sick
The best things about Friday.
The day before.
Thor woke up giggling and clapping.
Singing "It's a Beautiful Day" to my brother.
Learning that my best friend is a sicko.
Starbuck's - Friday like every day.
Bullying my coworkers into taking me out for lunch.
Listening to people sing over the phone. So corny and wonderful.
Bullshit-free workday.
The card and the cards.
The tapes.
The CD's.
The elle.
Bree, the force of nature.
The archaic torture high chair at Zesto's.
The next day.
But the day after that was a complete bitch.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

one more i forgot

Current mood:tired
Oh yeah, resolution 11 is that I HAVE TO learn how to use the stupid bluetooth thing that came with my cell phone. I am just not getting anything done. I know they look horrible and stupid, but it just has to be done. Has to. No progress has been made on the other ten. Except of course #5 (lasagne). High five.
Freaking Deadly Lasagne
10 lasagne noodles
1 pound italian sausage (get turkey instead of pork! it's healthier!)
(pause for laughter)
pint of heavy cream
1/2 bag frozen spinach
3 T flour
1 container ricotta cheese
1 pound mozzarella cheese, shredded
1 egg
1 cup parmesan cheese
1 small container sun-dried tomatoes (in olive oil), minced (or a small jar of s.d. tomato pesto)
Boil the noodles for 10 minutes and then toss them in the sun-dried tomatoes. Spread the remaining tomatoes in the bottom of the pan. Brown the italian sausage in a skillet. Add the flour and cook until it no longer looks like flour. Add the cream and enough milk to almost completely cover the sausage. Get it going and then add the spinach. Cook until it becomes a very creamy gravy, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. In a separate bowl, combine ricotta, egg, and 1/2 the parmesan. Lay 5 noodles in the pan to cover the bottom. Then spread 1/2 the ricotta mixture over the noodles. Then spread 1/2 the gravy mixture over that. Then sprinkle 1/2 the mozzarella over that. Repeat the 4 layers. Top off with remaining parmesan. Bake at 375 for 35 minutes. Mmm! Damn!
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Sunday, January 7, 2007


Current mood:cranky
1. Combine my many, many IRA's.
2. Fix the tax situation.
3. Boost the boy out of the 25th% for motor skills. Hopefully upwards.
4. Get all of the animals to the vet at least once.
5. Eat more lasagne.
6. Get a better job.
7. Put vegetables in everything.
8. Get back on the rocks.
9. Stay moist.
10. No more IM. You don't have to know what it stands for.
Classic Lasagne
10 lasagne noodles
1 egg
1/2 jar pasta sauce (I like Glen Muir)
1 can diced tomatoes (or dice up 2 medium fresh ones)
1 medium container ricotta cheese (not the big-ass size)
1 pound ground beef
1 pound mozzarella cheese, grated
1 medium onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic or to taste, chopped
1 cup parmesan cheese
Boil the noodles for 10 minutes, set aside. Brown the ground beef, adding the onion and garlic just before it's done while there is still meat juice in the pan. You heard me. Meat juice. Cook until the onion and garlic are soft. Add the pasta sauce and diced tomatoes. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer, covered, for 10 minutes. Then taste it. If it tastes all jacked up then just toss it and order pizza. If you can save it with salt and oregano, go for it. In a bowl, combine the ricotta cheese, egg, and 3/4 cup parmesan. Do yourself a favor and use fresh parmesan, not the shit you keep in the cabinet for aeons. In a 9 x 13 pan, spread about 1/4 cup of the meat mixture to keep it all from sticking to the bottom of the pan. If you omit this step you will end up with a big pile of sticky crap that you hack away at for 20 minutes before going, "Oh fuck this shit," and then toss it and order pizza. Then lay down 5 of the lasagne noodles to cover the bottom. Then spread 1/2 of the meat mixture over the noodles. Then spread 1/2 of the ricotta mixture. Then sprinkle half of the mozzarella over that. Then the rest of the noodles. Then the rest of the meat mixture, then the rest of the ricotta, then the rest of the mozzarella. Top it off by sprinkling the remaining parmesan. Bake at 375 for 35 minutes. Bon appetit.
Happy New Year!
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