Friday, April 21, 2006

boring is good. boring is good. boring is good.

Current mood:bored
Random shit...
I have single-handedly Africanized the carpenter bees. I don't know how. They are now just dive-bombing me and ramming their stingerless asses into me at full speed.
The other night my brother saw some police cars driving around really fast without lights on, so he asked one of them about it the next day. They said there was a prowler in the neighborhood, so we are now on full lock-down. But it made me think... a prowler? Is this still what we are calling these people? Prowlers? Are we sure it's not a cat-burgular? Or a vagabond? A neer-do-well? A rapscallion?
Thor is 5 pounds 7 ounces now, almost double his birth weight. He also has a blonde spot in his hair. Hmmm. I wonder what that means. He is totally living up to his name, though, he is strong as fuck! He can do 1/4 turns and almost hold his head up. His pediatrician was freaking out.
Can someone tell me what is up with all the brothers on tiny motorcycles these days? Is this a preview of summer? You know what I'm talking about. Is it a trend, or is it like the Indian families and their taupe Honda Odysseys? Permanent?
I am now addicted to the freak shows on TLC. Yes, everyone needs to learn about medical anomalies, that really IS learning. It reminded me of one type of Maury that I failed to mention, the freakshow parade, but those are getting more rare these days. I think I love Maury because it makes me feel so normal. Thank God I am back out of work and able to see it every day. Thrice!
God, I am so bored... I am super busy all the time, but there's only so much mental exercise one can get out of changing diapers and fretting about breast milk. And Thor is only awake for me to coo over for a few hours a day. Maybe I will start listening to books on tape.

Sunday, April 9, 2006

That's what *he* said

Current mood:giggly
Tonight I was humming my son to sleep at the hospital.
Nurse: Ms. R-------
Me: Yes?
Nurse: I'm gonna pay you to come to my house and sing me to sleep every night. Hearing you is so soothing.
Me: Aww, thank you. You're very kind.
Nurse: You're an excellent hummer.

Tuesday, April 4, 2006

you don't know me

Current mood:uncomfortable
Is it wrong that I'm checking out the dads in the newborn nurseries? Is that so bad, really? Hell. The way I see it, certain men seem to dig leaving their women right after having a baby, so like, they could double their pleasure by leaving their baby's mama, then get with me, then leave me too. The offer is on the table, boys.
On another note, tonight the nurses had Thor dressed like Chairman Mao. Either that or they enrolled him in Le Cordon Bleu, because that hat was off the chain.

Saturday, April 1, 2006

baby's first playlist

God I got so much blogging to catch up on. But for the past month things have been hectic and crazy. Thor is almost a month old! Damn!
Tonight Patsy notified me that everyone is planning to continue calling him Thor even though that's only baby's first alias.
So, twice a day, once at noon and once at 9 pm, I go up to the hospital to spend time with Thor. Now we are practicing breastfeeding, but all along we have been doing "kangaroo care", which is this special thing you're supposed to do with preemies where they lie naked on your bare chest under blankets and your clothes. You're encouraged to talk and vocalize normally since it is a sound they are used to from their pre-partum days. So, I hum to him all the time as my vocalizations are almost always melodious. Hell yes. So, here's his playlist and why...
I went on a kick while I was pregnant of listening to Blur's greatest hits for a long time, so from that, we have:
Beetlebum
This is a Low
No Distance Left to Run
I also am known to belt out Neutral Milk Hotel when it's playing, which is totally apt because it's all about fucked up family stuff, so add:
Oh Conley
Two Headed Boy
Then the jazz / show tunes / easy listening standards that are from college or some other part of my vocal repertoire that I sing sometimes and that make for good humming:
Night and Day
Do I Love You
My Funny Valentine
Don't it Make My Brown Eyes Blue
Hopelessly Devoted to You
I Only Have Eyes for You
Someone to Watch Over Me
Misty
There's lots of other stuff I've tried to include, but it really all hit home to me that so much of pop and rock does not make for good humming. Too monotonous! I can't wait to get him home so he knows what the rest of the arrangement sounds like. Wish us luck!
PS: Million Dollar Baby is the worst movie ever.