I think there's a disconnect somewhere, really. I was SOOO hardcore during the 'food fight' at fitwit. It was good for me. My body fat was tested at the beginning and the end. It was just plain fact. There was no room for bullshit. And I'm so competitive! I wanted to WIN! I couldn't talk my way into or out of anything. I couldn't rationalize anything. It was just true, in black and white, if you give in to temptation as often as you'd like, you will not win. So I very, very rarely did. There were many times I REALLY wanted something, and I just didn't eat it. I kept telling myself, and others, "No! No! I have to be good until the end!"
Day 2 of the Whole 30 - check. Did very well today. I didn't get any exercise, mainly because I wanted to give Kevin a break from me running off somewhere all the time. But, I ate perfectly well. Meat, veggies, fruit.
How do I get back to that place? I did well today, and maybe I should just take it one day at a time, but I don't have the same clarity and motivation I had at that time. Maybe I should schedule another dunk in the body fat tank in, say, 3 months. Maybe there's something else, tangible, real that I could win. Not a long-term-far-away thing like reaching my goal weight in a year, and not something nebulous like 'lifelong health' either. Maybe I need to just place some damn bets.
30 Day Song Challenge
Day 21: A Song You Listen to When You're Happy
"Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley
There's a reggae show on the local college radio station on Sunday mornings. It always coincides with the happy vibe of my little family, the smell of coffee and bacon, and an easy feeling of not having to really be anywhere at any particular time. This is one of my favorites, and one of the happiest.